No, sadly this is not about the famous 90's Ace Of Base pop hit song.
Last Wednesday, while home sick with the flu, I had to get to the bank to make a take payment. So Michael was nice enough to go with me. On our way home, we ran into our Dog Walker, Jose in front of our building. A word on him:
We call him Tardo. That's because it's not politically correct to call someone "retard". But "Tardo"-- it's sweet. Because he is sweet. He is a pure soul, gentle heart, is totally in love with all the dogs he takes care of, and he also happens to be dumber than a box of rocks.
Anyway, we ran into him in front of our building. He was off last week, as I was home sick. So he asked, "Hi guys. How are you feeling?"
I said, "Pretty sick, but thanks for asking. I needed to go to the bank, so that's the only reason I came out in the cold..." hoping that he'd take the hint and let us go so I could get back into the warm apartment and lay down again.
Michael asked, "How are you doing?" being polite. This opened the floodgates.
"Oh, I'm suffering this Valentine's Day. I don't have a love, and I don't know... but... you know what? This guy-- Okay, you guys tell me what you think-- this guy, he's a doorman and I sort of have a crush on him."
I cut him off, "Not one of the doormen in our building?" Because they are a) unattractive and b) unavailable (i.e., taken or straight).
"No. Not your building." he said, "He's in one of the other buildings where I go everyday."
At this point, I was freezing and just wanted him to leave. But Tardo went on.
"I really like him and I think he likes me but, I don't know, He's giving me mixed SINE-als."
I thought to myself, "Wait, did he just say that? 'SINE-als'? Not signals? Nah... I just heard him wrong. After all, I'm in pain out here in the cold, running a fever... it must be me and my ears."
But I looked over at Michael and he was giving me that same look. We both had heard the same thing. But in that unspoken communication that couples can do, we just agreed to let it go.
Tardo went on, "I mean. I think he likes me, but I can't be sure."
I tried to wrap this puppy up, "Well, if you ever see him drinking coffee or tea, then you can bring him a cup of it one day. That way, it's a small gesture, doesn't mean too much, but it's a way of discretely letting him know you like him, you're paying attention to him, and see what he does in response."
Tardo kind of brushed off my suggestion, re-iterating himself, "But I don't know..." in that artificially whiney high-school girlish tone, "One minute I really think he likes me and the next, I don't know. I mean, I'm not stupid. This guy is sending me mixed SINE-als."
Michael and I both just bursted out laughing. There was no recovery from that second hit.