Friday, January 19, 2007

Lasagna, Anyone?

I actually had 30 minutes free yesterday to leave the office and go get lunch. I walked over to 7th avenue to the local Korean Deli for my usual shaker salad. On my way back to the office, I passed the local Pizzeria. They had a sign, prominently displayed in the front window that read, "We made a FRESH batch of Lasagna today!" As I'm approaching, there is a homeless man in his filthy, tattered shrouds staggering and swaying in front of their open door.

Suddenly, he throws his arms up into the air, holding them up in that position and screams out loud, " Yeaaaaah???? Well.... I..... made.... a.... really FRESH crap today. Wanna see it???" He then turned around, and tried to pull his pants down but they got stuck at the waist. Struggling to get them down, he then reached in towards the backside and started grabbing himself.

Thankfully, a cop was coming towards him. I didn't need to watch anymore. After all, I still had to eat my lunch.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Do you come here often?

So today I went back to the gym for the first time since having eye surgery the Thursday before Christmas. My surgeon didn't want me doing any exercise as it would elevate my blood pressure and could possibly cause the healing and newly formed blood vessels around the eye to burst. So it felt really great to go back to the gym and exercise after 13 days away from the gym.

Anyway, it's the beginning of the new year and, of course, there are tons of people who are hitting the gym in accordance with their new year's resolutions. So, as is always the case with the first few weeks of the new year, the gym is full of all of these new faces.

One of these faces was in the gym locker room, packing up and getting ready to leave when I was coming in. I overheard him speaking with another guy. The other guy asked him: "Did you just join here? I haven't seen you here."
The new face replied, "Yeah, I joined David Barton last year. I guess we just don't work out at the same time."
The other man, being polite, offered him the out, "Oh we probably come at different times."

They exchanged a few pleasantries and then the new face left. I was still changing out of my street clothes and a minute or so late, after running to the restroom, I headed out to go down the steps and there, standing outside the yoga studio at the doors of the old elevators that were sealed off and have NEVER been in use since the gym opened years ago, was the new face. I kept walking and then thought, "Be nice. Be helpful." After all, he hadn't noticed me listening to their conversation in the locker room.

I stepped back and spoke to him. "The elevators aren't working" I said,
"Oh, okay. I was like, 'what's going on here' and wondering what was up with that. You know, they really should put a sign up."
I smiled at him and got evil. "Do you come here often?" I asked him.
"Yes" he replied.
"Oh" I responded with a puzzled expression. "Because... those elevators... they've never worked since David Barton opened over two and a half years ago."
"Really???" He said, turning red. "Are you sure?" he pushed.
I just smiled and said, "happy new year."

And with that, I headed into the stairwell and went home.